OK, so everyone seems to have the same questions about the whole adoption process Todd and I have to go through before a baby can be placed with us. So, I decided to take my cue from Randee and give you a list of some of the many questions we've heard along with our standard answers. Here goes!
1. How long does it take before your baby comes?
We've been told that, on average, once you are approved it could be anywhere from 6 months to 2 years. The caseworker we've been working with told us he's seen couples placed with a baby as soon as a week after approval, 3 months, 6 months, 9 months, 1 year—you name it, he's pretty much seen it. So basically, the answer is that we have no idea how long it will take! We've got a vacation planned for October 7-14, so we think we'll be called on October 6 with the news of our new arrival! :)
2. What does it mean that you have to be approved?
Basically there are a whole lot of hoops you have to jump through so that you are legally approved by the State of Utah as well as LDS Family Services. We've had to fill out tons of "paperwork" (basically just online questionnaires), get physicals, go to interviews both together and separate, show them our house, take a 6 week class, create our picture and letter profile for online and a few other things. After we do all of these things, our caseworker takes our Adoption Study (a report that he does that explains everything he's learned about us) to the board and they either approve or deny us.
3. When will you be approved?
We have just about finished doing everything actually! We are working on our profile and our first adoption class was last night. It was a really great class and we learned a ton and have a huge binder full of info now too. We also found out it won't take the full 6 weeks because there is a special 2-day FSA Conference (Families Supporting Adoption) next weekend at the Davis Conference Center that we were assigned to go to instead. Because so much of the information that we would have learned in our 6-week class is covered over these two days, we will only meet as a class one or two more times after next week. Awesome! So, that means we could be approved by the end of August!
4. Are we doing an open or closed adoption.
Most likely it will not be a closed adoption, which means no communication whatsoever with the birth mother. Right now we feel like a semi-open or open adoption best describes what we're looking for. A lot of it is dependent on the birth mother and what she would like to do. When we're selected, we'll meet with her and try to figure out what will be the best for all of us.
5. Are you nervous/afraid?
Yes! We're nervous it will take forever and that we won't be placed with. We're nervous that our birth mother will meet us and change her mind. We're nervous that after being chosen by our birth mother we won't feel like it's right. We're nervous about not being able to monitor the pregnancy (is the birth mother taking her vitamins daily, going to the doc, etc.), and the list goes on and on. If you think you'd be nervous about something, we're probably nervous about that same thing. (Luckily after some of our interviews and meetings a lot of the things we were previously nervous about have gone away!)
6. Are you excited?
Of course! We are so excited and despite all the things we are nervous about, there are definitely more things that we are super excited for. Number one, WE GET TO HAVE OUR BABY! We're excited to start parenting as we've watched so many of you tackle the job so well. We're excited go to "grandma's house" and show off our little cutie, we're excited to just sit and watch our baby and be a little family. We're excited to take pictures, to decorate our nursery, to buy cute little baby things, and again, we're just so excited that WE GET TO HAVE OUR BABY! :)
OK, so that's it. If you have any other questions, let me know and I'll answer them the best I can!
